I Have Perfect Memory

Over the Holidays, I discovered that little ol' forgetful, no sense of direction me actually has perfect memory and a keen sense of direction -- only when it comes to food. After just one survey of a buffet that I've never seen before, I can tell you how to get to which station and which food is located where. So I may be useless on the road, but I'll never get lost in a buffet!

Happy New Year! :D

Steve Hewitt Leaves Placebo

Steve Hewitt, 1/3 of my most favorite band in the world, has left Placebo.

I got this from their official website:

PLACEBO PART COMPANY WITH DRUMMER STEVE HEWITT

Placebo have parted company with drummer of 11 years, Steve Hewitt, due to personal and musical differences.

Brian Molko commented "Being in a band is very much like being in a marriage, and in couples - in this case a triple - people can grow apart over the years. To say that you don't love your partner anymore is inaccurate, considering all that you've been through and achieved together. There simply comes a point when you realize that you want different things from your relationship and that you can no longer live under the same roof, so to speak."

The split is amicable and a sad time for both parties. Steve Hewitt replaced Robert Schultzberg behind the drum kit in 1996 whilst the band were promoting Placebo’s eponymous debut album and went on to record the following 4 studio albums ‘Without You I’m Nothing’, ‘Black Market Music’, ‘Sleeping With Ghosts’ and most recently ‘Meds’.

Placebo have just returned from the USA where they were part of the high profile ‘Projekt Revolution Tour’ alongside Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance. The band are now taking a well earned break.

Brian Molko and Stefan Olsdal will begin work on Placebo’s 6th studio album next Spring and are in no rush to find an immediate replacement for Steve.

I can’t take it anymore. 2007 has not been the best year for celebrities. First, Britney hits rock bottom so bad that even ex-hubby Kevin Federline looks like a picture of model parenthood next to her. She also makes Paris Hilton look like a nun. Ick. Then the two Coreys split up. Then Howie Dorough gets married. Then this. Then this morning, I learned this morning that Benazir Bhutto had been killed by a suicide bomber and I couldn’t cry because my tears have all been used up. Damn that suicide bomber! He should be killed!

Open Doors

Am supporting this organization called Open Doors, which seeks to bring the Word of God to countries where the Word of God is illegal. We’re talking North Korea, the Middle East, parts of Africa, etc., where being a Christian or spreading the faith could get you humiliated at the very least, or at worst, dead.

I have many reasons for supporting this organization:
1. I believe you should be free to choose. Your clothes, your hairstyle, your religion. Whatever. As long as you choose it for yourself.

2. I’ve always wanted to be part of a social force, I’m just too lazy to do so. I supported Greenpeace and PETA in high school when they weren’t in the Philippines yet but now that they’re here and there’s an actual threat of having to – gasp – volunteer, I think I’ll support another organization that needs the only thing that I can give – money.

3. A Christian organization that subverts the status quo? Count me in! I’m earning brownie points with God while breaking the law! That’s two birds with one stone! How cool is that? I just need to remember not to travel to any of these countries lest they’ve got my name on some wanted list. Or if I do, I’ll remember to pack a fake nose and mustache.

So, if you want to ease your Christian conscience and feed your rebellious side at the same time, you know which organization can help you do that.

Google their site and check them out (Yes, I'm too lazy to post it here)!

Message From God

Last week was my grand uncle’s 85th birthday celebration, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would, partly because I got to see one of my favorite cousins again, but also partly because I met someone who was really excited to be talking to a writer. This started when I struck up a conversation with the girl next to me, who turned out to be the wife of a college friend (small world!). Her mother, who was accompanying her, joined in the conversation. When she found out I was a writer, she was all, “Oh, I admire writers! Tell me about how you write!” and stuff.

The reaction I’m used to getting from older Chinese people (especially if I’m related to them) is “Oh, so you’re a writer? How do you make money?” Then they’ll proceed to chat up my sister, who is a doctor, because, well, doctors are more useful (how many lives have I saved lately?) and because doctors have the potential to make pots of money.

Meeting an older Chinese person who will ignore the doctor in favor of the writer is nothing short of a miracle. I think God sat her and her daughter beside me to make a point. Two points. One is it always pays to make friends (the two were sort of being ignored before we got to the table) because you never know what surprises that might bring, and two, writing is a good thing.

Of course, Cloud Nine couldn’t last forever. As soon as we exited the hotel, we met a friend of my mom’s who asked her what her children did. “My eldest is a writer,” my mother said. Her friend gave me a blank look. “My other daughter is a doctor,” she continues. “Oh, how wonderful!” her friend says, and proceeds to praise my sister to high heaven. Ah, well. Back to earth.

Speaking of doctors, my sister was telling me about how people’s IQ’s go down once they realize that they’re in front of a doctor. Just a few days ago, she had a patient who rushed her child to the hospital. This very scared mother asked my sister, “Doc, bakit dumudugo labi ng anak ko? Kinakagat niya.” (Doc, why is my child’s lips bleeding? She’s biting it.) My sister wanted to scream “DUH!” Another incident was when a mother asked her, “Doc, bakit madilaw ihi ng anak ko?” (Doc, why is my kid’s pee yellow?). I’m so glad I’m not a doctor.

Howie D is Single No More

Charles has been asking why I’ve been absent from the web lately. For all of you who have been wondering the same thing, this is why:

Howie Dorough just got married, and I’m still trying to collect myself.

It all started when I got this in the mail:

The original article can be found on SFGate.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, December 8, 2007 (AP) Backstreet Boy Howie D Weds in Florida (12-08) 18:00 PST Orlando, Fla. (AP) -- Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough is single no more.

He wed his longtime girlfriend Saturday in his hometown, the band's attorney confirmed. Fellow Backstreet Boys bandmates were in attendance as Dorough, 34, married Leigh Boniello at St. James Cathedral in a traditional Catholic ceremony, People and OK! magazine reported on their Web sites.

"The wedding took place as planned and all went well," attorney Jason L. Turner said in an e-mail to The Associated Press. Dorough, also known as Howie D, proposed to his girlfriend of six years last New Year's.

"She wasn't expecting it, and I was quite nervous — more nervous about proposing to her in front of 40 family and friends than about performing in front of 40,000 people onstage," Dorough told People earlier this year.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

So far, I’ve passed through anger to hurt to denial to almost throwing myself in front of passing traffic to, finally, acceptance.

I guess it’s all for the best. If he had asked me instead, I would have had to turn him down anyway.

At least k.d. lang is still single. She is, right? *puss n’ boots eyes*

Belated Merry Christmas!

Hope your Christmas was filled with love, blessings, and gifts! :D

The King Likes Mika , too!

Luis sent this to me ater receiving my review for Mika's CD (I loved it!), Life in Cartoon Motion. The King rocks! :)

Here's the message:

You know who else likes Mika? Stephen King. ;)

*

STEPHEN KING NAMES HIS TOP 7 ALBUMS OF 2007

Author Stephen King reveals his seven picks for the
"best albums of the year" in Entertainment Weekly's
Dec. 7 issue.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22028729/

NEW YORK - Stephen King’s taste in music is more
eclectic than scary.

The best-selling author reveals his seven picks for
the “best albums of the year” in Entertainment
Weekly’s Dec. 7 issue.

“In truth, your Uncle Stevie was disappointed with
this year’s new music, very disappointed indeed, and
his year-end list reflects that,” King writes. “I
could only find seven albums I wanted to mention ...”

His No. 1 pick is Steve Earle’s “Washington Square
Serenade,” followed by Wilco’s “Sky Blue Sky,” Mika’s
“Life in Cartoon Motion” and Lyle Lovett and His Large
Band’s “It’s Not Big It’s Large.”

Of Lovett’s album, King says: “This is a terrific
Texas swing album, but of course not everybody likes
Texas swing (or even knows what it is). What makes it
special is Lovett’s vermouth-dry vocals and his
equally dry wit.”

King’s fifth choice is Ozzy Osbourne’s “Black Rain” —
“finest heavy metal record of the year; a true
speaker-buster” — followed by John Fogerty’s “Revival”
and Southern Culture on the Skids’ “Countrypolitan
Favorites.”

Why I Will Never be a Fashionista

There are two things that I will never be:
a. Thin
b. A Fashionista

This is not entirely by choice. Believe me, if I could, I would love to be a size 2 and have closets full of designer bags and quirky vintage Chanel and Vivienne Westwood outfits found in thrift shops all over the world. I would love to be forever featured in fashion magazine as a trendsetter, a pioneer, a visionary.

But alas, this is not meant to be.

And I have no one to blame but me.

I will never be a size 2 (the size of the Agnes B mini stashed in my closet just in case) because I am too lazy. Too lazy to exercise, too lazy to diet, too lazy, too lazy, too lazy. I would rather stay the way I am now, 20 pounds overweight and happily eating my way though life, than put myself through the misery of going to the gym, cutting down on food, etc. etc. I sometimes envy people, like my sister, who have made the gym their second home. The gym never did anything for me, except make me feel miserable. I never got the endorphin rush gym rats keep talking about. Either it’s a complete myth or I have reverse endorphins that make me feel depressed instead of euphoric when I exercise. Either way, I don’t see myself going to the gym anytime soon unless I have some sort of enlightenment.

I will never be a fashionista because, while I do wear something trendy once in a while, I tend to stick to classic pieces that will look the same ten years from now. But that’s not the main reason. The real reason is because I have an anti-fashionista streak in me, one that demands I wear the least fashionable (but oh, so comfy!) clothes in the least fashionable way possible. For example: I got out of bed today wanting to wear what my sister fondly calls my “Ernie (from Sesame Street) Sweater,” a snug knitted sweater with big red and grey horizontal stripes that I got from Terranova. Unfortunately, it’s also what any guy (ie. Ian N. and Luis) or horror buff will say (with glee, I might add) is actually my “Freddie Kreuger Sweater.” That, paired with two ginormous pimples (that I’m too lazy to cover with concealer), a bad hair day (I’m a total ignoramus at hair styling – I blame muscular dystrophy) and black plastic glasses (Too lazy to put on contacts) that Luis says makes me look like a member of Fall Out Boy equals Pudgy Pimpled Serial Killer Nerd Girl From Hell. It’s. Just. Not. Fashionable. But it’s comfy and I like it and there’s a certain sense of pride and defiance in wearing something that is guaranteed to make me look like a nerd but is oh so comfortable. Thankfully, I restrained myself and wore something more suited for the office instead.

So it will be my burden to know that I will never be thin and I will never be a fashion trendsetter, but it’s okay because in the end, both will have been my choice after all.

A Recipe for Disaster

How to Upset a Little Old Lady

This recipe can only be done by young people of (marriageable) Filipino Chinese descent aged 21 and above, though it may work for other xenophobic races as well.

1. First, make sure that the target (an old man or woman, or a FilChi person of any age who is known to be fanatical about “keeping our race pure”) has a really, really good impression of you. If you are a girl, you can do this by acting sweet and feminine or, if you’re lazy like me, just by flitting about and not say anything. If you’re a guy, you can easily do this just by being rich. You can talk about your latest merger and/ or acquisition, or perhaps wave your bankbook around.

2. Doing the above is sure to get you a lot of compliments, especially form older people. They are bound to say (in Chinese) with a big enthusiastic smile on their faces, “You’re so pretty/ handsome, ah! Are you in a relationship?”

3. Say “yes, I am” as politely as you can. Smile a lot. Show teeth, but no gums, please.

4. The next question will, 99.5 out of 100% be, “Is your spouse/ significant other Chinese?”

5. This is where it gets interesting. Say “No, s/he’s not” and watch their facial expressions change from shock to confusion to disbelief to finally, either disgust or resignation. All of this happens in about 2-5 seconds, so you have to catch it quick.

6. Most of the time, the old person will wander off in a state of dazed shock. There are some, however, who will persist in asking more questions in the hopes of somehow redeeming, in their eyes, your “appalling” decision to date/ marry outside the race. This is where the real fun starts.

The next question will obviously be “What do they do for a living?” You have tow options. One is shame them into thinking that your choice for a mate is a good one despite not being Chinese, and two (my personal favorite) is to shock them into thinking that you are a lost cause, a shame to the race.

To accomplish the first choice, pile the old person story upon story about how good-looking (if you’re a guy) or rich (if you’re a girl) your significant other is. Don’t’ be afraid to tell tall tales – “My girlfriend won Miss Universe and made the other contestants cry,” or “My boyfriend owns half of New York City” will be believed and applauded.

To accomplish the second choice, throw the most depraved and disgusting job descriptions at them. Don'’ be lazy and say "He'’s a bum," go all out and use your imagination. Add a dash of adventure, maybe some illicit romance. “My boyfriend flies the plane that delivers illegal drugs to first world countries” or “I met my girlfriend when I tabled her at a bar” or “My girl/boyfriend used to date Kevin Federline” (sorry, Brit Brit) is a good start. This works especially well for girls of all social classes, especially if you’re extremely pretty and well off. It might not work so much for guys, especially if you have money (because apparently, male-owned money can buy anything), but that’s the double standard for you.

Most likely, the old lady will just walk away in a daze. If you’re lucky, she’ll have to sit down and fan herself a while. Or faint. Which is more fun. It might be good to have a crash cart ready for such an occasion. Not only will you have the satisfaction of watching a little old lady faint, you’ll also get to yell “Clear!” as you jolt her chest with electrical current like they do on TV.

Congratulations! You are well on your way to upsetting the little old lady/man/close-minded idiot of your choice. Good luck!

More Gaiman-ness

Got this e-mail from Charles, who recorded and transcribed Neil Gaiman’s comments on the winning entries. Mr. Gaiman says mine is “spooky.” Neil Gaiman thinks my entry is creepy! How cool is that? :)

Here’s the e-mail in its entirety:

“Hi! Just finished transcribing Neil's feedback on your entries. Here they are (for your persual):

"Juan Perez's Corpse" really funny, nasty story. And I loved both the funniness and the nastiness of a corpse of a man killed in a plane crash, wakes up in bed in a particularly nasty condition and goes down for breakfast and the reaction of the neighbors and everybody else to what's going on and it actually manages to be moving as well which I thought was lovely.

The other thing that managed to be moving was "Lines and Spaces", our second place for comics which was basically a tribute to Alex Nino and which I thought was particularly apt since Alex Nino was one of the huge inspirations behind comics and it's a lovely little story.

Second place winner "The Bridge" very spooky. One of the things I loved about all the stories is that they all feel uniquely Filipino. And "The Bridge" which is a story about a psychic little girl and her encounter with a political leader of a country a lot like the Philippines is a very, very creepy and really nicely done.

"The Sugilanon of Epifania's Heartbreak" which Ian, who also won 1st place in last year's competition is a lovely little fable and felt it should have been illustrated. If you get it published, maybe in the book next year we can get a few illustrations.

The first place winner is science fiction and fantasy and uniquely Filipino and very, very, very odd in all of the nicest possible ways. And it's a story called "Logovore" about somebody who eats words and their encounters with the people--it's almost indescribable and I've never read anything like it before and was absolutely ready to go on the world stage. I looked at that story and--it could have been fantasy or science fiction and it ought to be picked up by the best of the year anthologies.

So honestly you guys, especially in prose, nothing to be ashamed of. So absolutely terrific showing. What I'm hoping for next year is that we not only get absolutely world class prose but we also get absolutely world class comics as well.”

Also got mail from Dean Alfar. Here’s the exchange where, as you can see, I haven’t stopped blubbering like a fan girl.

Dean:
Hey Yvette,
Here are a couple of shots of you and you-know-who :)
Congratulations again! I really enjoyed your story – and you’re becoming one of my favorite Filipino fictionists.
Best,
Dean

Me:
Wow! Thanks, Dean! For the pictures (...it's not my imagination, right? he really did pull me towards him?...) and the compliment! See you soon! :)

Dean:
Yvette,
Yup, it was definitely real!
See you soon!
Dean

My Brush with Neil Gaiman

I still can’t believe it. I just won 2nd place in the 2nd Philippine Graphic/Fiction Awards held yesterday outside Fully Booked Bonifacio High Street. The stage was pretty high, so Luis had to help me up – it looked like I had joined a beauty pageant instead of a literary contest! Fully Book’s Jaime Daez handed me a dream catcher and a certificate, then – I swear this is true – Neil Gaiman pulled me towards him and said “Here’s your hug” and then he hugged me, and then said, “Here’s your kiss,” then he made beso me (this doesn’t hold a candle to Andrew Drilon, who actually kissed Gaiman on the cheek – Go, Andrew! Idol! :D ), then he told me that he really, really liked my story. *faints* All of last year’s and this year’s winners had dinner with Neil afterwards. It felt like the prom, except with geeks in.

I got to talk to Ian Casocot (one of last year’s first and this year’s co-2nd place winner), who told me that he really liked “Stella for Star,” my entry last year (an honorable mention and is also in Expeditions, the anthology that collects all last year’s winners), and said it creeped him out. This means a lot, one, because the story managed to scare people, and two, because its Ian Casocot who’s telling me this. I also finally got to meet Tony Perez, who I think I embarrassed myself over. He gave me a pendant of the Chinese Goddess of Mercy. Also got to catch up with Paolo Ferrer, one of last year’s 3rd place comics winners, but alas, I did not get to chat with his ubercool girlfriend, Mitch. Paolo introduced me to Lienil Yu, who I have been wanting to meet for the longest time. Lienil was very nice, and said I could interview him for Tulay. Whee! I actually got to talk to a lot of people, but if I mentioned them all here, I’d begin to sound like a society columnist, and I don’t think you’d want that, right, dahlings?

We (the winners) got to chat with Neil (naks, first name basis na kami), who, after I had sign my copy of Expeditions, told me again that he really, really liked my entry. *faints again* My camera wouldn’t work the entire time, so I have no pictures of the event. The only picture I have is on my phone, and its on Neil Gaiman with his arm around me. We’re both looking at the camera except he looks dignified and I have a silly grin on my face. Aside from the fact that I’m standing beside one of the greatest writers today, I look positively skinny! Which is the whole point, really. Just kidding!

I told my mom about the win when I got home, and she set about texting everyone she knew about it, event though she wasn’t quite sure what has happened. Yes, my mother is my best publicist.

I have to apologize, I know this entry is kalat. But wouldn’t you be after hanging out with Neil Gaiman?

Thingsto Do When You're Bored

For lack of better things to do, I have come up with a few lists of things to do when, you know, you lack better things to do. Some, I have done, some I just put in for the heck of it. Can you guess which is which?

Things to do in the summertime:
1. plant kamote (sweet potatoes – am taking a cue from Nick Joaquin)
2. ride them carabaos (not as fun as it looks)
3. swim (but not too much)
4. catch salagubangs (beetles) and fireflies
5. steal mangoes from neighbor’s tree

Things not to do during rainy season:
1. pray for rain (unless global warming has kicked into high gear)
2. swim (in floodwaters and during lightning storms)
3. stand under trees (see above)
4. hunt for rats (unless you are a professional rat hunter, or a cat)
5. use straw accessories (sayang ang bag at sapatos!)

Things not to say about an acquaintance’s child:
1. I didn’t know you had a pet monkey! (ok, this was obvious)
2. Oh how cute! He looks just like a bobble-head doll!
3. She reminds me of Disney royalty – Snow White’s queen step mom in witch disguise.
4. Let me guess – you drank a lot when you were pregnant, didn’t you?
5. Poor baby. He looks just like you!

Things to have done by the time you reach 30:
1. smuggled drugs across a border with the help of a Chihuahua, a capsicum and a roll of cheese
2. hijacked a plane with a gherkin, then demanded that it fly towards the destination it was flying to anyway
3. presented the love of your life with a pig stolen from the neighbor’s yard (the same one who owns the mango tree) and fitted through her bedroom window
4. engaged a carabao in a bullfight
5. infiltrated an ultra left-wing political organization and convince its members that Walt Disney is god

Ideas for Show and Tell

We don’t really have a tradition of Show and Tell in the Philippines, but I’d like to imagine that when asked to bring something that is important to a student’s life, he or she shouldn’t be stuck to the usual items like baby pictures or favorite toys or a piece of his/ her parents’ wedding cake (half-eaten cake older than you are would make a good bribe anyway).

Here, in the spirit of creativity and going against the flock (flying against the wave?), are some ideas for a truly memorable Show and Tell, along with the explanations behind them:

Photo of bride and groom after the ceremony
“Daddy says this was taken a few minutes before I was conceived. He says if you look really close, you can see the alcove they snuck into after the ceremony. Some priests still avoid it to this day.”

Glow in the dark condom (broken)
“Mommy didn’t want to take pills and daddy hadn’t gotten his vasectomy yet so this is what they were stuck with. Obviously, it didn’t work very well.”

White thong (used)
“This was what mommy had on, or more accurately, off, when I was conceived.”

Empty martini glass
“This used to contain a lychee martini. It was what my mom was drinking when she found out she was pregnant. I think she drank a few dozen more after, you know, to steel herself for nine months of sobriety.”

Picture of cow in a field
“This is the cow that my visiting grandmother mistook for her beloved daughter two weeks before I was born. I hear my mother was not amused.”

Jar of fat
“This used to belong to my mommy. She had it sucked out of her right after I was born. Aren’t doctors great?”

Photo of a room filled with the latest games, gadgets and toys
“This is daddy’s play room. I’m allowed to look, but not to touch. He says I can have my own Mazinger Z figure and comic book collection when I grow up.”

DVDs of A Clockwork Orange, Fight Club and Sneakers
“Mommy and daddy think Barney is for sissies. They say these films build character. When I grow up, I want to wear bowler hats and beat people up, too.”

With show and tell items like these, my kid is sure to get an A! Any teacher who thinks otherwise has been watching too much Barney. Now class, what’s the first rule of Fight Club?

I iz (sort of) Famus!

More shameless self promotion: I iz famus! Sort of. People who I haven't badgered, bullied or cajoled into reading my stories have read my stories! Or at least know of me. I iz tickled. Of course, they might stop reading once they find out I sometimez speakz in lolcat. *hides under couch*

Don't beleive me? Then take a look at this blog entry that Luis found which lumps me with Krip Yuson. Yay!

Here's the link (tamad ako mag-code and di naman gumagana sa Blogger ko):

http://lengthofwords.blogspot.com/2007/10/cast-of-characters.html

And here's what he wrote:

"I might not have made it to the lineup for Dean
Alfar's third Speculative Fiction Anthology, but
apparently Dominique Cimafranca has. Seeing that this
will be his first published short story in the local
scene, you might want to congratulate him on his
achievement. :)

"Dominique joins what strikes me as a very
distinguished list of authors for the book. It's got
names that should now be established as mainstays in
the field of local Speculative Fiction (like Ian
Casocot and Andrew Drilon), wide-ranging awardwinners
(like Yvette Tan and Alfred Yuson), and people who I
could probably take on in a one-on-one cage match
(like Joseph Nacino and Charles Tan). There are a
number of notably missing names -- Vin Simbulan and
Chiles Samaniego among others -- but I'm pretty sure
that their works will be back in the spotlight soon."

Pumapalakpag ang tenga koh! Tickled writer is tickled. Hee!

Ugly Betty and Familial Stupidity

My sister brought home the 1^st season of Ugly Betty, which I just finished. While my first instinct is to identify with Betty (don’t we all?), what really freaks me out is that I’m the same age as her older sister, Hilda, a single mother whose wonderfully gay son came nine months after her prom night. I’m continually amazed because Hilda looks older than me, and it boggles the mind that if I had somehow gotten pregnant during my last year of high school, I’d have a 12 year old child today. It’s a big thing to wrap my mind around, especially since I don’t think I’d be good with children. I can barely take care of my cat.

So its weird that the person I feel the closest to on that show is a single MILF who loves her family fiercely but who sometimes needs a smack on the head for her lack of common sense, just because we were born on the same year. She isn’t my favorite character though. That would be her incredibly cute and talented son, Justin, and Claire, the murderer mother of the show’s other main character, Daniel Meade, Betty’s boss, playboy, party animal, and EIC of Mode magazine.

Why am I writing about Ugly Betty? I’m not going to wax rhapsodic about how the show places importance on the inside vs. the outside, blah blah blah. I’m writing about the show because its how I’ve been wasting my evenings and how, for a show that’s supposed to be an inside look into the workings of a big fashion magazine, I can’t find any clothes that I’d like to wear.

In other news, I had the following insane conversation with an uncle:

Uncle: (after hearing me tell my aunt, his wife, all about my current office job) So, where do you work?

Me: Ortigas.

(What I really wanted to say: Didn’t you just hear me tell your wife all about where I work and what I do?)

Uncle: I see. Is that like your job in TV?

Me: No.

(What I really wanted to say: Yes. Because sitting around in an office all day is exactly the same as running around interviewing actors and staying late to edit an episode or finish a story. But I guess you already know that.)

Uncle: Ah. But you used to be thin then, right?

Me: …

(What I really wanted to say: Yes. And didn’t you use to be smart. Oh, my mistake. I was thinking of someone else. At least I can go back to being thin. You can never go back to being smart because it’s impossible for anyone to go back to what never were.)

You can tell I have a lot of angst about my weight, and about the intellectual savvy that some of my family members possess. How can I compete with such razor sharp wit? (Buti na lang they don’t go on line, or know what sarcasm is, or else I’d be in big trouble.)

I realized just now that this entry sounds like something Joey Dizon (Hello, Joey! :D ) wrote on his blog, except his is funnier than mine. Joey, if you’re reading this, take heart in the fact that at least you don’t have to see your teacher every time your family gets together. No wonder my cousin wants to dance half naked on TV.

Anatomy of a Filipino Children’s Birthday Party

Attended my niece’s 1^st birthday party yesterday. It was held in a Jollibee, which automatically meant sweet, hotdog-laden neon orange Jolli Spaghetti and crispilicious Chicken Joy with not enough gravy. I was not disappointed, except for the Jolli Spaghetti, which only had one hotdog in it. I could have asked for more gravy, but that would have to mean getting up and I didn’t really want to do that.

While my calendar has been filled with baptisms lately (3 this month – talk about baby boom!), it’s been a while since I attended a birthday/ christening party held in a child-themed restaurant. My earliest memories of children’s parties are of feeling slightly insulted every time I was made to attend one. You had the predictable food (sweet spaghetti, barbecue, fried chicken), the condescending party hosts, and the adults who forced you to play stupid games for stupid prizes, whether you like it or not. Yet if you asked my mother, she will tell you (and back it up with pictures, too) that when I was really young (too young to think, really), I was always the life of the party, volunteering for magic acts, lining up for games. I stopped short of impromptu dancing/ singing (thank goodness!), maybe because event hen I knew that I had two left feet and that my singing voice had the tendency to make it rain (a great business venture right there!).

I was pretty excited to go to the party. I hadn’t had Jolli Spaghetti and Chicken Joy in a while. The weird thing is that my love for them was acquired in adulthood. I remember hating Jollibee as a child and thinking that McDonalds was the bomb. Until now, I have no idea why that changed. Maybe they put drugs in their spaghetti and fried chicken. Maybe neon orange suace has a hypnotizing effect.

So I get to the party, say hello to the relatives, air kiss my slightly bewildered cousin (because I don’t really air kiss anyone in the family unless it’s their special occasion), and ask about the baby, who is cute and chubby and has no idea what the hell is going on. "She can do the papaya dance!" my cousin exclaims with motherly delight. "Great!" I reply, wondering what the papaya dance is and if I want to know. This particular cousin has a penchant for giving her kids black names. Her son is called Antione (yes, it’s French, but I have yet to see a Frenchman named Antione) and her daughter is named Ayesha. I sometimes want to ask her if she knows she’s not black. But I have to applaud her though. Antoine and Ayesha are cool names, and more imaginative than the local practice of combining both parents names (thank goodness my parents never went for that either, else I’d be Luben Tan. Or Benlu. Either way, ugh!).

Attending my niece’s children’s party was an interesting experience, if only because I got to see how it’s evolved through the years. Today’s manufactured children’s party is a combination of a wedding (except the food comes first) and a TV debut special. After everyone has eaten, an overly enthusiastic party hosts invites all the kids to come in front to greet the celebrant a happy birthday. The kids who do get a goodie bag for their efforts. This is their version of games.

The host is speaking in Tagalog, by the way, a big change in the 80’s when I remember (probably erroneously, someone correct me on this) them speaking English. And not just normal Tagalog, mind, you. Half of it was in swardspeak (Filipino gay linggo), which was interesting because no one could tell the difference! After the birthday greetings, the host told all the "kidlets" (if piglets are tiny pigs, then are kidlets tiny kids? Isn’t that redundant?) to get ready because they were to welcome a special guest, mr. Jollibee! My first thought was ‘Since when was Jollibee a Mr.???’ Do mascots grow old? Does this mean we should start addressing Ronald McDonald as Mr. MacDonald or Uncle Ronald or Mang Ron? So Jollibee comes in and the kids go wild.

The host announces that Mr. Jollibee is going to do a dance number, but not before he does a pictorial first. This is where the wedding part comes in. "Immediate family first," the host calls out. Next is immediate family with cousins, then all the kids. All the kids scramble to be part of the picture, all of them trying to get as near to the giant orange bee as possible.

Next, Mr. Jollibee does his dance number, which makes the kids go even wilder.. My littlest cousin, the one whose ambition in life is to dance half-naked on noontime television, tries to dance with him but gets hit on the face by a giant orange bee thigh by mistake. Mr. Jollibee mimes that he’s sorry, then finishes his dance number. Every children’s party has at least one child that wants to be buddies with the mascot and my littlest cousin was that child. Another thing that hasn’t changed is that the party soundtrack consists of all the stupidest songs you hear on the radio. Seriously. I wanted to stab the host with the mic and start throwing children out the window.

Then comes the blowing of the cake. After the host gets everyone to sing "Happy Birthday," she asks the paretns to tell us their wishes for the celebrant. This, I have never seen before. "I wish my child would grow up God-fearing," my cousin says, and everybody claps. Next, it’s Jollibee’s turn to tell us his wishes for the celebrant. Since he can’t talk, the host translates for him. She says, he has three wishes. The first is that she grows up smart and God-fearing." I wanted to stand up and say, "That’s two wishes! Didn’t they teach you to count in bee school?" I told this story to Luis later and he said, maybe the God-fearing part doesn’t count since it was already said. I don’t remember the other wishes because they were all boring, like grow tall and stuff. How come nobody gives exciting wishes, like ‘the confidence to unleash her inner bitch’ or ‘impeccable style’ or ‘enough Luis Vuitton bags to sink a small barge?’

Mr. Jollibee exits after he bestows his fairy bee wishes, and the party ends. The host thanks everyone for coming and thanks the sponsors, the celebrant’s parents and Jollibee (who shouldn’t be counted a sponsor as the party was paid for and not an ex deal). I seriously expected to hear canned applause after, so into the role of TV host was she. The whole experience was draining, even though I didn’t talk to anyone the whole time. I guess stupid radio songs, dancing bees and overly enthusiastic party hosts can do that to you. Or maybe old age. But it wasn’t a bad experience. I think I wouldn’t mind attending another one. This time, I hope they have more hotdogs in their spaghetti.

Weirdness in Binondo

Leah and I spent last Saturday getting lost in the Binondo/ Sampaloc area. I used to mind a store in Binondo and I know how weird conversation can get (a man tried to exchange his daughter for a bottle of Fundador once, jokingly, of course -- I think), but even that did not prepare me for the exchange I overheard in a store that sold Chinese knickknacks:

Happy smiling Chinese guy walks into store. He's obviously a regular.

Guy: Hello! I want to buy an incense holder.

Salesperson: Sure! I'll go get one for you.

Guy: Oh, I want the one for ancestors, not for gods.

I am so clueless about my cultire. *sigh*

We is in Preview!

Luis blogged about this already, so I'm just going to cut and paste what he wrote:

"Yvette and I are very happy indeed to be featured in the October 2007 issue of Preview magazine, on this year's "Creative 'It' List." :) According to the feature's intro, the list "rounds up a list of 26 bona fide talents that have earned distinction in their respective fields, and helped set the standards for artistic excellence." Woo hoo! We're especially delighted to be in the company of many people we genuinely admire, such as dynamic duo Marcushiro and Bru (a.k.a. Electrolychee), musical genius Malek Lopez, director Marie Jamora, production outfit Furball, singer Sitti, and some long-haired filmmaker named Kidlat de Guia, among many others. Thanks to Preview and to everyone involved!"

Yay! :D

Dreads and Disappointments

I dream of one day having a niece/ nephew who is a disappointment to his/ her parents.

This came from a conversation I had with my mom, where she was telling me about the antics of my littlest cousin, now two and starved for attention. Apparently, the child has taken to dancing whenever adults are around to admire her, um, mad skillz. Now this isn't bad in itself, except that she likes imitating the sexy dancing girls on Wowowee. Eeek!

There's a whole branch of ouer family that's like that. Coincidentally, they're also the branch that liked to make fun of my reading too much growing up. Not everyone in that branch is like thatm of course, but there are a lot.

Which brings us back to my wish: Given the circumstances, I know it's too much to ask for all of them, so I'll be content with just one niece/ nephew who is a disappointment to his her parents because s/he will want to read voraciously, study hard, not place too much importance on relationships until it's the right time to do so, live for his/ her passion and see the world through enlightened eyes. If I'm lucky, I'll get an activist, an environmentalist or an academic. I wouldn't mind an artist or an entrepreneur either.

I doubt I'm ever getting one, but in the off chance that I do, well, you know your Auntie will support you in whatever you do.

I'm only asking for one. Is that too much?

And for my littlest cousin, whose current dream is to dance half-naked on national TV, all I can do is pray for her and hope that she moves on to better, more worthwhile things. She is just a kid after all.

FOB on Candy Coated Karma

Wrote about my Fall Out Boy concert experience on my GMAPinoy TV Column, Candy Coated Karma. Am not really a fan (mas fan pa ako ng Chicosci), but those guys do know how to put on a show. And I don't hate their (FOB's) bassist so much anymore. I still want to kick his teeth in for just looking the way he does, though.

We want more FOB! We want more FOB! This is what thousands of Fall Out Boy fans were chanting when the band played in the Araneta Coliseum last September 20 and 21. Fans were lined up at the gates way before the concert started at 8pm, which goes to show that us notoriously late Filipinos can be early if we want to be. The Coliseum was awash with guys and girls in tight pants, sneakers and hoodies, what could be described as the uniform to brood in.

Read more at www.gmapinoytv.com/karma

I Can Has Moonstar!

My Moonstar 88 article is out in this month's issue of Burn. Go buy a copy, if only because the mag contains lots of great stuff for music lovers. Whee!

My Story in the Free Press

Grab a copy of the Sept. 15 issue of the Free Press because my story, "Lao Peh," is in it!

This is the story that I blogges about earlier, the one where I couldn't sleep so I ended up writing the wole thing in one night instead. It's about me receiving a phone call from my dead father.

I'd like to thank KYu for letting me know that it's been published.

I Can Has Home Office!

My mother has been cleaning house lately and one of the things she did was clear out my dad's old computer table so that I could use it as a home office. Now I have a little nook of my own where I can write and do whatever it is you do in your home office. I feel so professional! I mean, I know I have my own desk at the place I work in but there's nothing as inspiring as my own work space in one of the places I love most -- home. I've always wanted to work at home at my own pace, doing my own projects and this feels like a step closer towards achieving that dream. Thank you, mommy! You have no idea what it means to me! :)

Shinzo Abe is Albus Dumbledore

Ok, he's not. But the Japanese Prime Minister sure suffers the same problem with his Farm Minsiters that the Headmaster of Hogwarts did with his Defense of the Dark Arts teachers. They either die or resign. I have yet to see a Farm Minister go mad, though.

LOOK OUT FOR ROGUE'S SEPTEMBER ISSUE!

Want to know where I learne to the devil's music? Why, in church! It's in this month's issue of Rogue!

-----

CALL 852-0000 TO ORDER ONE COPY DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP
OR FOR ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS

Features:
Mandarin!
Photographed by Mark Nicdao
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THE GREAT HIMALAYAN ADVENTURE
By Kat Palasi

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GOT MILK?
One on One with Alaska's Iron Man, Fred Uytengsu
By Bill Velasco
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IT'S ALRIGHT, MA, I'M ONLY BLEEDING
A Memoir About Living with Madness
By Tad Ermitano
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SHOCK VALUE!
Quark Henares Stalks Sarah Silverman

ALSO:
Lourd de Veyra, Sarge Lacuesta, Alexis Tioseco, Yvette Tan, Mihk
Vergara, and many more!

Do Not Read

An entry full of self pity. I told you not to read.

At the beginning of the year, I've been talking about travelling for my birthday. Unfortunately, due to lack of funds (this being the most minor of my problems) and the fear of the potential nagging from my mother (this being the biggest one -- I know, I know. sigh), I'm staying home on my birthday. How sad is it that a thirty year old woman has to dread the naggigng she's going to get from her mother? I think I'm 15 years too late to be sulking and rebellious but what else can someone with no life do? I wouldn't mind so much if only she didn't treat me like a (mostly empty) ATM machine as well. But as Bruce once said, what can you expect fro someone who grew up spoiled and rich and never had to work a day in her life? To make matters worse, she expects me to go to my nephew's birthday party ON MY BIRTHDAY. I'm sorry but I think I'm entitled notto give a flying **** about anybody but myself on my birthday. All my life, all I've wanted was to be left alone. Now, 30 years later, I'm still being nagged, coerced, threatened, and annoyed. No wonder I'm always so frowny and depressed. And no, I don't think the wrong parent died. I love my mother very much but sometimes, I wish I would just die so that she can collect my f***** insurance and I'd rest in peace. That way, everybody wins.

I Can Has Bonus!

I was recently integral to a project that resulted in an errant client payingus everything they owe us. Bruce was so happy he gave everyone in the company a bonus! Whee! :)

A Short Message from Ben Franklin

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't." -- Ben Franklin

You tell them, Ben!

Grieving with George

I'd warn you that this post contains spoilers but if ou're any sort of Grey's Anatomy fan, you probably alread kow what I'm talking about.

I spent last night crying because George's father died. I especially teared up at the part where Christina tells him about the Dead Dad's Club, and how you can't be in it until you're in it. George tells her that he doesn't know how to live in a world where his dad doesn't exist and Christina says that well, that never changes. It was a scene that was handled very well, and the words hit right home. It's true that ou never learn to exist without your father. Or mabe I'm just bad at adjusting. All I know is that it's been three years and we all still miss him.

Luis called in the middle of m Grey's binge and he thought something was wrong. I had to tell him that it was all George's dad's fault, hehe. Grey's Anatomy is seriously killing my writing. I can't get to work until I've finished the whole 3rd season. Which means I've got to log off now. Dr. Burke is waiting!

RIP Ron Miller

Got this from popbitch.com:

RIP Ron Miller. He wrote the lyrics to Charlene's "I've Never Been To Me," among other classics.

That song freaked me out as a child. It still does. Classic!

Mowdel Akesh, Kuno

Luis and I were at the Summit Studios yesterday for a pictorial for Preview. Naks! Feeling mowdel ang lola! Well, not really because we didn't know what to do in front of the camera. Birthday ng lolo mo kahapon so the Preview & HG peeps had cake for him. Isha's idea pero si Yvonne bumili. What a sweet bunch! It was a sinful, saturated chocolate thing called Dementia from Luscious bakeshop and it really does live up to its name. One bite and you'll want to die. It's that good.

I Have Great Skin!

We were made up by Gela of L'Oreal, who complimented me on my skin. She said my skin was nice and smooth and really easy to apply makeup on. Now this is a really, really big thing for me because I'm really insecure about my skin. A billion blotchy, pimple-filled years can do that to you. After years of slathering on creams and make-up, my beauty regimen is now at its simplest. So it's cool and sort of ironic that I would be praised for my skin now -- and by a make-up artist no less! When she asked if I was using anything, I said, well, all I do is wash my face with Cetaphil and moisturize with Estebel moisturizer.

Estebel is a French brand that uses all natural ingredients and can only be bought through dealers. Buti na lang dealer ako! Hehe. So I gave her my card and hopefully, she trys the stuff. For anyone out there who wants to try the stuff as well, let me know. There's a whole skin care range with your name on it! :D

PGS Represent

Kenenth Yu of The Digest of Philippine Genre Stories invited me to talk to high schoolers about critical reading. So yesterday, I took a half day off and spoke in front of the Literati Club in Immaculate Conception Academy.

It was really wonderful to see so many kids interested in reading, and proud of it. When I was in high school, reading for fun automatically classified you as a nerd or a geek.

KYu's posted about it in the PGS blog, I think it's at www.philippinegenrestories.blogspot.com , where there are icky candid pics of me. *cringe*

All in all, it was a good talk, with the students responding well and not throwing tomatoes. Yay!

My First Brochure

Bruce has me doing the company's marketing materials now. The first thing I did was a brochure. And since the office has no appropriate software and I know nothing about doing layout, I did the whole thing on (drum roll, please) Microsoft Word!

It doesn't look bad, considering. Bruce seemed to like it. He wants meto do the web page next. Eek!

Thanks to Luis for feedback. I also owe Bernie a drink for not laughing when I showed it to her.

Burn, Baby, Burn!

The new issue of Burn Magazine is out, with Christina Aguilera and Maroon Five on the covers. I'm not sure what's in it, but since it's Burn, I'll bet it rocks (no pun intended)! All I know is that my Gary Barlow interview is in it. *sigh* I've said this before but I'll say it again: I completely know how those women in Music and Lyrics felt. *faints*

San Juan Motto

I love San Juan. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of living here. So you can guess how happy I was that our little town is now a city.

Being a city, aside from getting all the cool perks of budget and zoning and whatnot, there is also the responsibility to market ourself as a metropolis opf growth and opportunity. With this in mine, I have taken it upon myself to come up with a slogan for San Juan, one that incorporates its significance in the country's independence (many battles between the Filipinos and their Spanish oppressors were fought here) and its colorful traditions, like the Feast of San Juan, where people drench each other with water. And so, with this in mind, I've come up with the slogan: "San Juan: Getting folks wet since 1896."

I think it works, don't you? *ducks*

A Story and an Article

My article on Pilita Corrales is in the July issue of Filipinas Magazine, so if any of you are in California, be sure to pick up a copy. This was one of the best interviews I've conducted (yes, right up there with Gary B!). Miss Corrales was intelligent and articluate and professional. She has an aura of old showbiz, one that's regal and commanding and just leaves you awestruck. In other words, she's very very different from the persona she projects on TV. I could just listen to her talk all day -- she's led an exciting life, complete with, among other things, fame, fortune, a street and a shipwreck. More importantly, she takes pride in her craft -- she's constantly updating her shows, constantly researching on ideas that her fans will love. This is something the new generation of script-fed celebs lack.

Meanwhile, a short story of mine called "Boss, Ex" is being featured in the maiden issue of Rogue. I haven't seen the magazine yet but I hear that the whole thing is a delight for the senses, as in it's been laid out lovingly, with no thought for space constraint at all. *faints* "Boss, Ex" plays on the local practice of DVD vendors selling X-rated videos, and of the universal phenomenon of wedding jitters (ok, not really universal. Apparently, all my unmarried friends can't wait to get married -- which makes me wonder if I'm on the wrong planet). I've never had anyone ask me if I wanted to buy X-rated DVDs yet so I guess they only ask guys (I wonder why?). Anyhoo, I hope you guys pick up the mag, if not for my story, then for the sensory delight it offers.

In other news, the "Y" key on my keyboard is broken, so I have to thump the ke extra hard to get it to come out. This has resulted in me sending people strange and sometimes embarrasing messages, like the time I sent an editor a message that had "stud" instead of "study." Eep!

I Love Leah

M friend Leah dropped by the office today bearing coffee. What a great surprise! Nothing like an impromptu chat with a friend to brighten up your day. Thanks, Leah, ou certainl made mine! :)

How the Dead Remember

Last night, I dreamt that I met, after a long time, a grade school classmate of mine who had shot herself in high school. I was reall excited, since, even though we had grown apart as we had grown older, we had been good friends in our early grade school years and I always thought fondly of her. In my dream, I somehow knew she had been dead, but it felt as if she had been overseas instead.

The part that weirded me out was, when we were reintroduced, she had completely forgotten about me! I spent a lot of time tring to make her remember who I was, that we had lived near each other, that she had me over once for her birthday party. Finally, she conceded that she vaguel remembered me, and when I asked her why she had forgotten, she said, "Because you aren't as interesting now as you were before."

That remark stung me. How could I be boring? Especially now that people can finally have decent conversations with me without being treated to occasional walls of silence, or monologues about how Leonardo is my favorite turtle (okay, I didn;t reall do that. I wasn't *that* crazy).

I spent the whole day thinking about it, and the conclusion that I have come to is this: I may be more socially savvy now, but at the cost of the uniqueness (read: craziness) that marked me as a child. I've learned to tame myself in order not to be left out, and in the process, murdered a part of me that, as socially inept as it was, was still a part of me, and is also a part of me that other people, dead, and maybe living, miss.

One Night Story

I couldn't sleep last night so I ended up writing a whole story from scratch. It's been a while since I wrote anything, and I don't think I've ever accopmplished a piece in one sitting before! Thet's not the only strange thing about this story. It's not horror (gasp!) and I'm in it. It's set last year and basically, the premise is that I get a phone call from my dead father. I've always wanted to do a piece that touches on that subject, and I guess this is it. I've never adhered to the "write what you know" adage (how else could I write about death? I've never died... I think) but I broke that rule for this one.

I don't know what I'm doing being awake at night on a work day writing stories that don't scare people.

And yes, I still miss my father.

San Juan Cityhood

San Juan is now a city! Congratulations! I know that cityhood means a bigger budget aand that the mayor has all these plans like opening a college but citihood means only one thing to me:

When I join the Miss Universe pageant, I can come out on stage in my Pitoy Moreno gown and say in stilted English (para may foreign effect), "Hello, my name is glossgirl and I come from beautiful San Juan City, Philippines!" *spreads arms*

Har, har, har.

So Much for My Vacation

I have no self control whatsoever. Just days after announcing my "leave" from writing, I've accepted a freelance job, attended a presscon, and started a story.

Oh well. I guess in this case, lack of self-control is a good thing.

The Bloomfields

Because internet has been down fora month, I wasn't able to post about my The Bloomfields article, which appeared on www.pulse.ph.

All I can say is that they are very nice boys who play really groovy music. Let's boogie!

Another Day In Court

So I had to go to court again. This time... nothing happened. There were no car chases, no convulsing judges. Instead, the people we were sing didn't show up. Sooooo... apparently, if you're being sued and you don't show up for your hearing, the judge issues a warrant for your arrest.

It's very weird to be partially responsible for someone's impending arrest.

It's also very weird to be in the same room with actual theives and attempted murderers and such.

Court is such a weird place

The Burn Sessions

BURN MAGAZINE, the Philippines' first interactive magazine, heats up your weekends with THE BURN SESSIONS: The Burn Magazine Bar Tour. Catch The Dawn, Drip, Typecast, Paramita, Sandwich, Cynthia Alexander, Moonstar 88, Hilera, Sound, Sino Sikat?, Drip, Nimbus 9, Chicosci, Milagros Dancehall Collective, Julianne, Faspitch, the hip-hop crew of Steak Productions in a five-month long bar tour in the hippest places in Metro Manila: May 26 at Capone's, June 22 at Saguijo, July 14 at Chakik's Ortigas, July 27 and September 14 at Mag:Net High Street, August 10 at Al's Bar, September 29 at Prince of Jaipur in corporation with Steak Productions and October 11 at Piedra.

Be at Capones on May 26 for the bar tour's first leg, with performances by Taken By Cars, Hilera, Faspitch and Sandwich. Show starts at 9pm. Entrance is only P150.

Make music your weekend habit with Burn Sessions--the Burn Magazine bar tour. Check print ads and posters, or log on to www.burn.ph for details. The Burn Sessions is brought to you by BURN Magazine, Bratpack, SM Teens Wear, Audiophile, Warner Music Phils.

MTV Phils., Odyssey, Phil. Daily Inquirer, Hinge Inquirer Publications, NU107, Jam 88.3, Hit FM, and Wave 89.1

Hello, Goodbye!

For those who've missed my presence online (all three of you), my apologies.  My absence can easily be explained by a. my falling into a drugged stupor near the laser printer (another source of addictive fumes) and b. men.  More specifically, three men -- Bruce, who will kill me if I do non work-related stuff at work, Dr. Burke (McWho?), this nice heart surgeon Bruce introduced me to via his Grey's Anatomy DVDs, and Mr. Monk.  So now I'm back, for a bit, at least, thanks in part to Charles, who showed me the wonderful world of posting from your e-mail.  If I dissapear again, it's going to be because I have yet to watch Heroes, Death Note, Bleach, Season 6 of Scrubs, Season 3 of Grey's, Studio 60, and Samurai Seven.  And that's just the DVDs I remember.

Toodles!

Higher and Higher

People who talk about getting high on drugs should try working in an office. I don't think I've ever been so high, what with the copier toner and the permanent marker ink I'm surrounded with.

Also, I have graduated from stamping (though I'm assured that there's more of that to come) to... GASP! Computations! Apparently, algebra wasn't so useless after all. :P

The Vampire Social Club

My Chicosci article is out! Read it on pulse.ph . W00t!

3 AM

Nope, not a tribute to Matchbox 20. I really am up at 3 am on a work night. I don't care. I can;t sleep. I'm also working on my Chicosci artlicle. I'm extra pressured to make this really, really good because I'm trying to impress my editor, who I think is really hot. He'll like my writing so much he'll call to tell me so, then we'll get to chatting, then he'll ask me out to dinner. The we can go to the mall and watch a movie. Or hamsters. Either way, I'll be happy because I'll be with him.

This is suck a sappy entry. This is what happens when I'm awake at 3am on a work night.

Seriously, I don't usually have a hard time writing but this Chicosci piece is really tiring me out. Granted, it's one of the best interviews I've had (right up there with Chino Moreno [I hear Pulp got an e-mail from the Deftones' label saying that they liked the article] and Gary Barlow [I'm still pinching myself]), but for some reason, this one is stressing me out the most.

Maybe it's because I like the band (but then, I enjoyed the Deftones and I loved Take That, not to mention most of the other people I've interviewed). Maybe it's because if the article sucks, Chicosci knows what I look like and can hunt me down. Maybe it's because this is my first pulse.ph article. Maybe it's because my editor is so gosh darn cute (here we go again).

I'm tempted to just aubmit the interview as is becasue the guys were just so gosh darn funny. Not funny as in charming Gary Barlow funny, but funny in a witty, sarcastic, toungue-in-cheek way. For example:

Mong: Budgeting the video came sort of naturally for us, so yun yung first project apart from the mass production. And then started rolling from there because everybody noticed the video, everybody noticed the album --

Miggy: Our haircuts!

Mong: Our haircuts –

Miggy: Fashion sense, cuteness, cutie factor –

Mong: Androgyny. Or let’s just say it straight up. Our gayness.

Miggy: Our gayness. What’s up, bitch?

*rofl*

And they can be pretty passionate too, like when Mong was explaining their songwriting technique. Hearing him use "These tired lungs" as an example almost made me faint. Yes, the little lost goth in me is still alive. Which begs the question: why hasn't the band been embraced by the goths yet?

Am shleepy...

On the phone with Gary Barlow

I HAVE A PHONE INTERVIEW WITH GARY BARLOW TONIGHT! *takes out must Take That shirt, faints*

I'm going to be taking the cll at home, which is sweet. How often can you tell people that an international pop star called you at home? *smiles like a giddy high school girl*

My first question will be: What took you so long???!!!

A Younger Model

You know how they say that men are always looking for someone younger? I just found out that Luis is no different. He currently has eyes for some furry, underaged, model-type who he may have gotten pregnant -- I mean, who may have been pregnant when he got her *grin* . Sorry, couldn't resist.

Yup! He's got another hammie! A female one this time, which makes the jokes oh so easy. Her name's Colwin, after the writer, and she's been getting good press in the hamster message board (she's a natural model). We don't know for sure if she's preggers... at least until she gives birth, which should be anytime this week.

The reason we don't know if she's pregnant is because:
a. she could just be really fat;
b. she could be having a phantom pregnancy; or
c. even if she is pregnant, she might not give birth anyway, as pregnant hamsters' bodies sometimes just reabsorbs the babies if the mommas are too stressed out.

In any case, Luis doesn't know how to feel about Colwin being preggers because:
a. Baby hammies are cute, but...
b. Who's going to adopt them?
c. Will they even live to be adopted? Young fist time hammie mothers are notorious for eating or killing their young.

I'd take one of them in, but it would only end up iside my cat. Or if not my cat, het boyfriend (Yes, my cat has a boyfriend. Go figure.). Or if not in her boyfriend, definitley inside the new one that's been lurking around lately, trying to get at the boyfriend's food.

Me? I just want to see the widdle babies! Coo! Coo!

Cesar Montano for Senator

This is old news but... Cesar Montano is going to run! *keels over* Why don'tthey just burn the country to the ground ad get it over with?

I hear that the night before he announced his candidacy, he was vehemently denying plans to enter politics. And now this.

If you knew what I did about him (and the sad fact is I don't know much -- but what I do know is enough for me), you wouldn't vote for him. I don't think I'm voting in this election, so that means I'm definetly not voting for him. :P

We already have enough action stars in our Senatorial stable to beat all of Iraq and Afghanstan's forces combined. Hold on...

On the other hand, I say we should all vote for him, and all the other action stars who are running. That way, when the next political crisis arises, be it an MILF assault or being called to send troops to another international war against terrorism, we can jut SEND THEM INSTEAD and spare all our good, patriotic soldiers the fighting. We can't lose!

I think it's a good idea.

Cesar ontano, I'm voting for you!

My Last 4 Senatoriable Picks

I just came back from not eing allowed to enter the seminary. Who knew that non-Catholic women weren't allowed to be priests? Let them tr to explain Pope Joan to me, then!

Too bad mybid for priesthood was so short-lived. I was going to announce my last 4 Senatoriables, too. They are:

9. Shaider - so we can b safe from the forces of evil that plague the universe, and so we will finaly know what color Annie's panties really are.

10. Ramon Magsaysay - Since this isn't a Presidential election, the most I can nominate our dear beloved ex-President for is a Senator. I don't think he'll mindif its for the good of the country. All we need is a really good voodoo hougan and we're good to go. I figure that the zombified corpse of one of our nation's greatest Presidents should make better decisions that some of the class acts we have out there. Whle we're ressurecting him, we should also tell him that the Chinoys are Filipinos, too.

11 and 12. Butch Aquino and Letty Ramos Shahani - Just becuase I still remember their jingles fro the 80's. I'm sure you do, too.

Candidate Meat Market

In a glorious example of separation between te Church and the State, Brother Mike Velarde is urging Church Leaders to place their bets for te coming election so that the people will know who to vote for.

Again, from the Inquirer, he says: "They can just whisper their names and [the names] will spread to the people."

In this spirit, I'd like to announce that I'm leaving for the seminary next week, so that I can become a priest and so that I can whisper to my constituents my choices for Senatoriables.

They are:
1. Frosty the Snowman - lagyan ng air con ang Pinas!
2. The Tooth Fairy - comprehensive dental plans for everyone!
3. Santa Claus - gifts for all
4. The Easter Bunny - becasue we're a Christian/ heathen country, even though we won't admit it, and because I owe him money
5. Zsa Zsa Zaturnah - to represent the GLBT sector
6. Captain Barbell - because a strong country needs a strong man
7. Daddy Warbucks - because everybody could stand to benefit from a rich fafa (we'll have to grant him citizenship, first)
8. Maria Makiling - because I owe her money, too; plus, we need an environmentalist

And because I'm all for democracy, the poeple can choose their last four candidates themselves. I hear Shaider wants to run.

Oh, here's Bro. Mike's defense for his non-separation o Church and State statement, also from today's PDI:
"My position is the separation of Church and State does not apply to the process of selecting leaders because this is te time when leaders of the Church should have active participation not just in setting guidelines but also in guiding the flock on who the right candidates are."

Flock is right.

Santos vs. Sanchez, Round One, Fight!

So Vilma Santos is running for Governor of Batangas. This has reelectionist Gov. Arnamdo Sanches quaking in his boots, er Guccis, er, footwear, especially since Lakas CMD has withdrawn its support from him and has chosen to go with Santos instead.

In a show of sportsmanship, professionalism and good taste, Sanchez has taunted Santos without naming her. I quote part of his speech from today's issue of the Inquirer:

"Will you vote for someone who spends three hours just to put on her makeup? Will you vote for someone who reports to City Hall jut once a week? Or someone who needs alcohol after shaking the hands of the people?"

Trying to destroy the name of a opponent by attacking, not her political standpoint but her beauty routine. Now that's class. That's the hallmark of Philippine politics, that is, right up there with Tessie A's boogie. Or if it isn't, it should be.

I don't live in Batangas, but here's my answer to Sanchez's "questions."

1. Would I vote for someone who spends 3 hours doing her make up? Hell yes -- provided s/he comes out gorgeous and not like the bride of Wildestein. A leader has to look good for her people, sice s/he represents them. Of course, the people should come first. That's a given. I woudn't vote for a leader who goes to a plastic surgeon, though, that bespeaks insecurity. Sanchez should take a cue from Santos and visit a beauty parlor. He looks like he needs it more tha she does.

2. How about someone who goes to City Hal only once a week? I never beleived in the "you have to be in the office al day to be considered workin" mentality. A lot of people spendtheir 8 hour office day doing nothing. Again, f someone does more good wandering around, meeting people, upholding policies, kissing children, whatever, then good. Going to the office does not work equate.

3. Someone who has to use alcohol after shaking hands? That's jut cleanliness, baby. My mother wishes I'd do that more often. Besides, it's better to be washing ones hands of germs than washing one's hands of jueteng lord allegations, don't you think?

Okay, before people start bashing, let me just explain my political knowledge for the above, and all my political rants and comments: I HAVE NONE. I just read the papers because I have to, not because I want to, and can I help it if our nation's politicians lead lives more colorful than any telenovelas? I mean, where else can you find a bunch of well-mannered, restrained, oh, and classy individuals out to protect the welfare of our glorious nation against tyrants, terrorism and each other (I say te should start protecting our glorious nation against bad fashion, too)? So you'll ave to forgive my rants if they seem idiotic, because they probably are. On the toher hand, there's a school of thought that says fools make the best prophets... or was that the other way around?

VILMA SANTOS IS RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR!!!

I think the title says it all, don't you? Excuse me while I move to Batangas.

Celebrating My 30th Birthday

You know you've been spending too much time in the office when...

You're at home and you have to call someone... and you instinctively dial "0" to call out.

Yowza!

I've only been on the job for a month and already I need a vacation!

I turn 30 this year, and I've been wondering how I should spend it. Whjatever I do, I intend to spend it somewhere else. My friend Andrea, a seasoned traveller, says I should travel by myeslf at least once in my life, and I agree. I think the week of my 30th birthday would be a great opportunity to go off on my own. Alas, due to lack of imagination (and lack of funds), I find myself not knowing where to go. I'm already going to miss this year's Stoker Awards, so I don't know what else to aim for.

So far, my choices are:

a. Hong Kong Disneyland - Because nobody can resist Disneyland

b. The Farm - I've got 30 years worth of toxins to get rid of!

c. Any Asian country that has Placebo and/ or k.d. lang playing - Placebo was in China on my birthday last year -- I found out after and have been kicking myself for missing the opportunity ever since.

d. Vietnam - Because Andrea says so.

e. Disneyworld in August, when all the goths converge there - Because it's a small world after all.

f. Ireland - Because I used to be a rabid Celtophile. And it might give me a chance to stalk Garth Ennis.

g. I'm open to suggestions. Let me know what I should do/ where I should go!

Pilita Corrales and Manilyn Reynes

Mabuhay si Mamita!

Interviewed Pilita Corrales today for a magazine. She was such a fun interview! Friendly, sweet and articulate, she gave all the info that I needed and more, and was generally very accomodating. She slightly remembers being interviewed by me for two minutes at the last SOP Music Awards. She also introduced me to Kuya Germs, who later left the table to sing karaoke. The interview was conducted in Pilita's, Pilita's restaurant in Greenhills. It's only when I had to research about her that I realized how illustrous her career really is, and how she played a big part in brining Filipino talent abroad, and -- get this -- making Tagalog songs vogue in the Philippines. That, I thought, was mind-boggling. To find out more about this amazing woman, you'll have to read my interview when it comes out, hehehe (Yes, I'm lazy. I'm also plugging).

Congrats Manilyn!

Someone posted this comment anonymously:

"i heared na nominated ang ating idol na c manilyn this coming STAR AWARDS FOR TELEVISION in two categories one is best supporting actress and others is best talk show host in MOMS!!! dapat lang syang bigyan ng awards she so great. she deserve it!!! ako talagang bilib na bilib ako sa kanya very NATURAL in T.V and talented!!"

Congrats Ate Mane! You deserve it! Manilyn is another example of a star who has never let her feet leave the ground. She is an absolute darling to interview. I hear that she's also very professional, and always puts her family first. It's cute that her die-hard fans have stuck to her from her That's Entertainment teenybopper days until now, when she's morphed into a talk show host and has taken on mommy roles.

Now I'm going off to watch Shake, Rattle and Roll, if I can find it. Undin! Undin!

Trip to Quezon

My article on the food trip to Quezon I took last year has been reprinted in Tulay, Kaisa para sa Kaunlaran's bi-weekly Fil-Chi journal, this week. Whee! :)

2006 Stoker Nominees

The 2006 Stoker Awards are nearing, and I clan't attend! Wah! This year is extra special because it's going to be the first time ever that the awards will be held outside the US. I feel bad that I haven't read any of the nominees. Shows you the state of the choices we have in the country when it comes to genre books. I can't wait for the day when I look at the horror shelf in a bookstore and not see it filled with *just( Stepeh King and Anne Rice. *sigh*

Anyways, here are the nominees:

Superior Achievement in a NOVEL

Headstone City by Tom Piccirilli (Bantam)
Liseys Story by Stephen King (Scribner)
Ghost Road Blues by Jonathan Maberry (Pinnacle)
Pressure by Jeff Strand (Earthling)
Prodigal Blues by Gary A. Braunbeck (Cemetery Dance)

Superior Achievement in a FIRST NOVEL

Ghost Road Blues by Jonathan Maberry (Pinnacle)
The Keeper by Sarah Langan (William Morrow)
Bloodstone by Nate Kenyon (Five Star)
The Harrowing by Alexandra Sokoloff (St. Martins)

Superior Achievement in LONG FICTION

Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge (Cemetery Dance)
Hallucigenia by Laird Barron (The Magazine of Fantasy
and Science Fiction)
Mamas Boy by Fran Friel (Insidious Reflections)
Bloodstained Oz by Christopher Golden and James A.
Moore (Earthling Publications)
Clubland Heroes by Kim Newman (Retro Pub Tales)

Superior Achievement in SHORT FICTION

Tested by Lisa Morton (Cemetery Dance)
Balance by Gene ONeill (Cemetery Dance)
Feeding the Dead Inside by Yvonne Navarro(Mondo
Zombie)
FYI by Mort Castle (Masques V)
“31/10” by Stephen Volk Dark Corners)

Superior Achievement in an ANTHOLOGY

Aegri Somnia: The Apex Featured Writer Anthology
edited by Jason Sizemore (Apex)
Mondo Zombie edited by John Skipp (Cemetery Dance)
Retro Pulp Tales edited by Joe Lansdale (Subterranean)
Alone on the Darkside edited by John Pelan (Roc)

Superior Achievement in a COLLECTION

Destinations Unknown by Gary Braunbeck (Cemetery
Dance)
American Morons by Glen Hirshberg (Earthling
Publications)
The Commandments by Angeline Hawkes (Nocturne Press)
The Empire of Ice Cream by Jeffrey Ford (Golden
Gryphon)
Basic Black: Tales of Appropriate Fear by Terry
Dowling (Cemetery Dance)
Cinema Macabre edited by Frank Morris (PS Publishing)

Superior Achievement in NONFICTION

Final Exits: The Illustrated Encyclopedia of How We
Die by Michael Largo (Harper)
Gospel of the Living Dead: George Romero's vision of
Hell on Earth by Kim Paffenroth (Baylor Press)
Stephen King: Uncollected, Unpublished byRocky Wood
(Cemetery Dance)

Superior Achievement in POETRY

Shades Fantastic by Bruce Boston (Gromagon Press)
Valentine: Short Love Poems by Corrine de Winter
(Black Arrow Press)
The Troublesome Amputee by John Edward Lawson (Raw Dog
Screaming Press)
Songs of a Sorceress by Bobbi Sinha-Morey (Write
Words, Inc.)

Stamp You, Part Two!

As excited as I was about stamping (and I have a purple forehaed to prove it), the guy I work for, who shall henceforth be called Bruce (because, you know, he's The Boss) said that I HAVE NOT STAMPED ENOUGH. So now I have to make up for my lack of stamping by doing even more stamping! Hurrah!

Btw, I'm also in need of an assistant. Must make good coffee. Just kidding. Must be female, hardworking, dependable and is interested/ has background in commerce. Let me know if you know anyone who's interested.

Stamp You Very Much

I'm slowly being give more and more responsibility at work, the most recent o whichis the authority to Stap Things. This, of course, comes with other responsibilities more integral to the running of the business but unfortunatel, they're not as fun as Stamping.

I'm to get my own Stamp and Stamp Pad, and starting tomorrow, I'll have tha authority to Stamp Important Documents, like what they do in cstoms, except I'll have no important people to accidentally harass or extort from.

Already I have visions of Stamping everything I see in the office, starting with my forehead, because it's convenient. I could get used to this.

Sharon C

I took my mother and her friends to see |Sharon today (thanks a bunch,
Crissy! I loves ya! ). I feel particularly proud to be able to do this because if there's anything I've learned about my mother, it's that she's a die-hard Sharonian. She has admitted to rescheduling whole family trips around the opening of Sharon's movies.

She also says that there's only one Sharon movie that she hasn;t seen, whose title escapes her at the moment because, well, she hasn't seen it.

I guess my taking her to see Sharon's show makes up for my not getting any honors
or not being the prom queen groing up. My mom's probably thining: 'So what if my
daughter spent most of her life failing math? She took me to see Sharon!

It was a fun episode. They guested stand-up comedians who came as famous personalities. There was Manny Poohquiao, as Manny Pacquiao, John Santos as Mayor Vilma Santos (I must confess, there's a deep dark part of me that loves Ate Vi. And Lovely Ness, too. And no, I'm not ashamed to admit it!), and Tessie Tomas (Now there's another person who's a joy to interview) as Imelda Marcos. If you've seenthe episode, you know it's a good one, and not just because the camera kept
panning over our faces.

After the show, we went to Something Fishy in Eastwood City. We got there at
11pm, so we had to wait an hour to make it to the breakfast buffet. The buffet wasn't bad, especially since it cost less than a hundred per head. It had garlic rice, 2 kinds of adobo, tocino, longganisa, scrambled eggs (mushy -- just the way I like them!), pancakes, arroz caldo, beef mami, palitaw, plus a few dishes that I've forgotten. Unfortunately, I was too sleepy and too sick (I'm still coughing like it's terminal -- I was like that before I left. Joselle can testify!) to enjoy it. I've discovered this about my mother: she gets real mad when I sleep late, even if I'm not sleepy or can't sleep. It's completely ok, however, if she keeps me up all night, no matter how sleepy or sick I am. I didn't really complain -- I wanted her to enjoy the night, plus, I can use this event for ammo the next time I stay up.

This is where I'm at, yo!

This month, I've got two articles in Entrepreneur magazine, two (I think) in Burn magazine, and two in Vision, the Epson magazine. I may be missing something but I can't remember.

In Entrepreneur, I interview award-winning graphic designer Kimberly Tiu on product design and family business/ personal finance guru Elfren Cruz on professionalizing a family business.

In Burn, I interview Maksim, the pianist, about his new album and the band Callalily about their music.

In Vision, I interview 10-year-old digital art genius Nica Manzano about her art and advocacy (she teaches kids digital art) and sports photographer Neil Confesor about his need for speed.

That wraps up another bout of shameless self promotion. Back to regular programming.

Media Mercenary No More

Today was my last day at the office. It wasn't anything special workwise, but it was touching to see so many people so sad to see me go. I always thought no one would really notice, as I tend to keep to myself, so it felt really really nice to find out that I'm not as anti-social as I think I am. Well, not that much, anyway.

As a parting gift, the web team gave me a framed picture of me and Polo Ravales, both of us in sunglasses and grinning at the camera, taken on the set of Super Noypi with dedications (theirs, not his) on the back. Jason, Jessa and KC also gave me the Golden Snitch, a tiny gold Christmas ornament with wings stuck on it (you know, like the golden snitch), which was their prized decoration during the Christmas workstation decoration competition. I was very touched, especially since they're all Harry Potter fans.

Binky, the local sandwich lady, also gave me my last sandwich for free. Yum!

I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone, like Jason, who left early, and Mitch, who was at a shoot (ed. - but Mitch texted goodbye the next day, which was sweet).

So ended my last day as a full time media practitioner. In two weeks, I'm going to be in unfamilliar territory, learning everything from the ground up. Who would have thought that I'd ever go into business? In a way, it's something that I've always wanted to do. I'll still continue writing, of course, but not as much. The future is filled with the unknown, and that's what makes it exciting.

A Week of Dinners

This week, being my last week in my current job, and as a full time media mercenary, is packed with social meetings. This is in anticipation of my new job in the corporate world, where I will (gasp!) have fixed hours and (double gasp!!) be banned from wearing flip flops to the office. I also will not be able to eat breakfast at my leisure ever again.

My schedule went thus:

Tuesday:
Met Crissy and Mae in Gateway at 8, then rushed to Greens just off Morato where Iris was holding her despidida party. Iris' thing also started at 8, which made me feel like a character in a sitcom, but I managed to get there before ten. Greens has got to be the most filling vegetarian restaurant I've ever been to. Or maybe my stomach got smaller.

Wednesday:
Met Leah and her friend's boyfriend Lizard at The Promenade for a business consultation, but not before snacking on Shrimp Puffs and Hakaw at the nearby Won Ton, first. I just found out that the reso is run by the same person who set up Chopstix, so I've become an addict. Plus, I really, really love their iced tea. I took the normally finicky Luis to eat there once and he loved the food as well. This is good because it means we're going back. Yay!

Thursday:
Took Andrea, who I haven't seen in ages, to Snackaroo in Judge Jimenez corner Kamuning. Andrea is the third person I've converted, if you count Anson Yu (the food writer), who I duggested the place to, even though I'd never been there, for a resto review. Back then, I had always wanted to eat there but didn't know where it was, so I needed someone to locate it for me. Needless to say, Anson found it. I've also dragged Maxi, my sometime partner in crime, there on one of my late night steak cravings, and he too, loved it, even though he ordered the bangus. Yes, my mission in life is to take everone to Snackaroo.

Jayvee texted to say that he posted my review of the Motorola 1200, aka the Motoming on Cellphone 9, his cellphone blog. Read it here.

Friday:
Managed to exorcise some demons during breakfast with Nats and Leah. Today was the day I found out that I can't eat as much as I used to, having lasted *only* three rounds at the breakfast buffet. I hang my head in shame. If you were to tell my younger self that I would only be eating three rounds at a breakfast buffet, she would have laughed and called you a liar. But it's true. I will never look at buffets the same way again. *cries anime tears* One day, I sahll write an article about the evolution of breakfast buffets. Hopefully, it will be so good it will win a competition -- and the prize will be free breakfast. :D

On a happier note, I managed to see Luis today *squee! squee!* . Still no hamster, though.

Arnold Clavio in the House

One of the personalities I enjoyed interviewing was Arnold Clavio. Unfortunately, shortly after I interviewed him, igma decided that it would concentrate on entertainment shows. This meant no news and public affairs shows. I thought my Arnold Clavio article would never see the light of day. Fortunately, they decided to use it in GMA Pinoy TV.

How this man manages to sleep extra late every night and wake up extra early every morning and manage to stay cheerful and smart all throughout will always be a mystery to me.

Read it here.

Weekend Binge Fest

I spent most of the weekend at home reading. Aside from a few hours of work each night, I got to stay in bed and read. I finished reading Tom Green’s autobiography, Hollywood Causes Cancer, a book that left me with a lot of respect for the comedian. I didn’t think much of him before but after reading his inspiring story of how he relentlessly chased his dream of becoming a comedian to how Hollywood swallowed him and later, gave him cancer (the kind Rizal talks about) and how he battled actual cancer, it made me think a lot of him. It also made me think better of Adam Sandler, who I’m not a big fan of but who apparently is a very nice man. According to the book, he was the only Hollywood guest who stayed until the end of Tom green and Drew Barrymore’s wedding, even dancing with Tom’s mom and chatting with his brother. Now I have the urge to borrow Freddy Got Fingered and search for The Tom Green Show on YouTube.

Another book I finished was Christopher Ross’ Tunnel Vision, a philosophical treatise written by a man who worked in the London Underground. At the age of 26, Ross gave up a lucrative, moneymaking job to do nothing but travel. He would then find work in whatever country he was in to pay for his next trip. Tunnel Vision is a lovely book that talks not just about travel, but about the human condition (at least as he sees it) as well. It’s a really easy read, with none of the high faluting words or metaphors associated with philosophy. It doesn’t tell you how to life your life. It’s more an entrance into the thoughts of a man who has chosen to work a mechanical job with the express purpose of observing his surroundings.

I also got a short course on African-American culture over the weekend -- if you can call watching a few episodes of Boondocks and reading Damon Wayans’ book Bootleg studying. If there’s anything I’ve learned from McGurder and Wayans, it’s that African Americans are like Filipinos. Really. Just replace all the words that pertain to African-American in the book and cartoon with “Filipino” and it will still make sense. You can do this with Dave Chapelle’s skits as well. There’s one where he talks about the African-American’s affinity for fried chicken and I thought, ‘That’s so Pinoy!’

This is a sad thing since, a. Filipinos are racists and would rather be associated with people with skin lighter than theirs (the sad thing here being the racism and the colonial mentality, not being compared to African Americans) and b. the book and the cartoon make fun of the African-American culture and its stereotypes.

What does it say about us when some of the aspects of our race that we are proud of (like not backing down from a fight -- from the ‘Nigger Moment’ cartoon) are aspects of another race that get laughed at by their own people? I’m not going to answer that.

My favorite line in Boondocks:

“Grandad, you can’t change the White supreme power structure with cheese!” -- Huey Freeman

I’m currently reading Pat McCarthy’s The Road to McCarthy, a book about a man’s search for his roots around the world. McCarthy, who is half English, half Irish, travels all over, from Morocco to Australia to the US to Monserrat and of course, Ireland, in search of his ancestors. It’s inspiring and it’s something I want to do myself, but I have the feeling I’ll have to learn how to speak Mandarin first. Even though knowing only one sentence (How much is this, miss?) got me though a month in Xiamen, I don’t think it’s good enough to go ancestor-hunting with.

I’m also reading Michael Palin’s Full Circle, where he circles the whole Pacific Rim for a BBC special and gets to write about it, too! I don’t know why I’ve been interested in travel books lately. For the last two years, it was business books. Before that, it was children’s books. Now, it’s travel. I think I’m going through the whole bookstore section by section!

A Band Called Kjwan

Uploaded an article in my GMAP Pinoy TV column about my interview with Kjwan. This happened before they released their second album. The interview was for Anthem magazine. I got to meet Marc and Kelley, who were both very nice and smart and articulate and -- this impressed me the most -- frank.

I love Marc and Kelley! Especially since they know how to make a girl blush. Marc blew me a kiss at the Sugarfree launch and Kelley gave me a hug at the NU Rock Awards *skwee skwee* ^_^ .

Here’s an excerpt:

What has life been like after the release of your first album?

Marc: The first album defined us -- that’s what we observed -- as a macho core rock and roll band because of “Daliri.” I mean, we did release a couple of other songs but like most albums, one song stands out… From then until we started writing songs again, we kept on gigging and gigging, then we added Boogie Romero, who is also from Dicta License (as is Kelley -- ed.), into the mix so when we started writing songs, they became more ambient…

Kelley: The first album was an experiment. And what Marc was saying na rin, after the first album was done, it was our experiment, eh. We got together, we recorded all the songs that came to mind. In the second album, we knew each other better. I knew Jun more, I knew Marc even more, I finally got to jam with Jorel, Bogie came in.

So going into the second album, our mindset was a whole new thing. Yeah, we get defined also by our singles, but even in the first album, there were a lot of different aspects to our individual musicality din that showed out influences, rock and roll, R&B, we listen to a lot of different things, drum n bass, soul, electronica. So all of these mixtures, we’re more fully aware of these influences and we’re trying to translate this into a whole new different thing for the second album. Ang daming ups and downs din in the middle that the band got into. We survived, we got our guns going. We have a good team now. We’re really confident about our product, especially for the second album.

Read the whole article here

A Bugged Life

I recently interviewed Jayvee Fernandez for a Filipinas Magazine article on Pinoy blogging and posted about it in my GMA Pinoy TV column. Apparently, Jayvee posted about it as well. Read it here .

San Juan's KKK Museum

I finally found time to check out the KKK Museum (note to foreign readers: KKK in this context does not refer to the Klan -- in the Philippibnes, the KKK refers to the Katipunan, a rebel army who fought for the Philippines' independence from the Spanish), which is walking distance from my house. I only found out about it last month, when I managed to catch a glimpse of its banner from the road.

I don't know its exact address (I'm too lazy to hunt for the brochure), but all I can say it's along the same side as the San Juan post office, inside the gates of the Pinaglabanan Shrine.

It's a tiny museum, about the size of a small apartment. It was nicely air-conditioned (a big plus!), but a bit hard to get into becuase the front gate of the Pionaglabanan Shrine is closed, so you have to come in through the back.

There wasn't much to see -- some dioramas, a few weapons and medallions, half of which were replicas. But it was only during the museum tour that it really sank in that the town I live in played a big part in the building of this nation.

San Juan was one of the many rebel strongholds. Battles were fought here, many people died, all in the quest for independence. Some of the landmarks were battles were fought, like the church and the tower, are still standing -- that is, if you can pick them out from the overcrowded town.

It's heartwarming to see the township putting up projects like the museum. My only complaint is that it seems to be more of a political vehicle than a cultural one. There's a picture of the mayor on the wall, which is ok I guess, since it was his idea anyway. But if you look at the museum's flyers, you see, not a detailed descritpion of San Juan's rich history, nbut a detailed description of how the mayor built the museum.

I have nothing against the mayor, but I believe that there is a time and place for everything, and that people go to a museum to learn about history, not to get sucked into a political campaign. It would be ince to get handed a flyer about the grand history of the Katipunan, not how the museum would not have existed without rich people who 'care.'

Still, I'm glad that there's a museum at all, and if a little propaganda is what it takes to keep it going, then so be it.

Apparently, we have a library too, which I'll visit as soon as I can.

Blogging as the Wave of the Future?

I've a new entry in my column in www.gmapinoytv.com . Here's an exerpt:

I'm currently doing research on blogging vs. advertising for an article I'm writing and one fo the people I had the opportunity to interview was Jayvee Fernandez, Channel Editor for the Technology Channel of B5 Media, a blog network. It's somewhat like being section editor or editor-in-chief of a magazine and then some but in short, he gets paid to write about cellphones. This, I think is every Filipino's dream.

Yep, blogging has become his main source of income now. Luis and I met Jayvee in The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Greenbelt 3. There, amidst tea and muffins, we discussed the great new world of blogging/ advertising.

Read the whole thing here .